A Tourist's Guide to NOT Looking Like an Idiot in Washington DC

     
        

Living in the nation's capital has its ups and downs and I won't go into which there are more of but I will say that one of the downs is definitely a common hatred all Washingtonians share - tourists.

There's a difference between being a traveller and being a tourist and because I know that anyone who happens across this blog is awesome and they don't want to be labeled as a tourist, I'm going to give you a bit of advice on how to not look like a complete tourist in DC. (Imagine me saying tourist with the kind of contempt most Parisians use to talk about, well, anyone who's not a Parisian)

1. Fanny packs
I don't know if there's a different word for this that I should be saying but everyone knows what I'm talking about. Those horrible waist - belt - pack things that parents use to help carry whatever their screaming children want. They are the most disgusting thing on the face of the earth and there is nothing that will signal you put as a tourist quite like a fanny pack. Use a backpack or a purse to carry your granola bars and water bottles and cheap souvenirs but for the love of God do not use a fanny pack because you will regret it and everyone will laugh at you. That being said, I think it's fair to say that it is mostly the, erm, older generations who enjoy the use of fanny packs (well they didn't grow up with Disney Channel fashion so who can blame their poor, depraved minds) but if your parent tries to leave the house in a fanny pack, you have a duty to burn that thing. Especially in DC where we are perfectly okay with laughing at you in full view.

2. Wearable souvenirs
Just as New Yorkers will glare at you if you're wearing an "I heart NY" shirt, it is even worse if you do it in DC. Not because we are meaner than New Yorkers (cause come on, no one's meaner than New Yorkers) but because it's just so disgusting to wear any of the "I heart DC" gear. Why? Because not only is it a gross thing to do originally but the "I heart DC" is already such a knockoff of "I heart NY" that it's like getting a knockoff Prada in a Louis Vuitton store. You will look absolutely and irreversibly like a tourist and there is no one who can save you now. Maybe you got it because you were cold and it was cheap - but we're not going to know that and I doubt there are many people who will care so it's best to just refrain.

3. Don't be unaware on the metro
In DC, we take our metro (subway, tube, T, whatever) system very seriously and for good reason too. A metro system is a blessing for many reasons and one of the main ones is the fact that it is many people's primary mode of transportation. So do NOT be unaware of your surroundings on the metro. It really isn't that hard to accomplish. No one's going to get mad if you're crowding a metro map - I've lived here my whole life and I have to take a look at the map sometimes. But don't crowd the elevators, don't badger the metro transit officials, don't annoy everyone on the car, and DO NOT escaleft. For those of you who don't know, there is a general rule with elevators everywhere and that is; Stand right, walk left. You have to leave a lane on the left for people to walk down or up because just because you think it's fine to take your sweet time doesn't mean other people aren't in a hurry. When you stand on the left, we call it "escalefting" And it's just so rude, especially when you ask someone to move and they're not listening. This goes again to the basic lesson of this point - be aware. No need to make a big deal, just try not to escaleft and move if someone asks you. But we take the metro very seriously and the only rule is to be aware of what's going on. Watch other people who seem to know what they're doing and do what they do! The metro is what distinguishes a tourist from a traveller or native and you do not want to look like a fool in this key moment. If you can work the metro properly, all these other rules should be cake.

4. Only going to Museums on the mall
The National Mall (for anyone who's oblivious, it's not actually a mall, but in fact a large green space ringed by the Washington Monunent, the Capitol, the Smithsonian, etc, etc) has so many amazing museums such as the Museum of Natural History, the Museum of American History, the Air and Space Museum, et al, but these are not the only museums in DC. Far from it, actually. Granted, most of these places are the free museums that we all love so much, but they are not the only ones and I recommend that if you have a little extra time, why not go visit some of the other museums that we're so proud of? The Spy Museum is a fantastic trip, the Museum of Crime and Punishment, or some house museums such as Hillwood Estate or Dumbarton Oaks or Tudor Place. There are so many museums all over DC and all of them are worth a visit so if you want to get the real DC experience, go off the map just a little bit.
 

5. Taking pictures of government buildings
I get it, the capitol, the white house, they're tourist attractions and very important historical landmarks that also just happen to be government buildings. Fun to take pictures of, harmless, really. Yes, most of it is. Take your pictures and if you happen across something that is a government building but also looks like a Greek or Roman temple, chances are you're fine. Knock yourself out because in DC we know people like to take pictures of our great city. But oh my GOD do not take pictures of government buildings that do not look like they are specifically designed for tourist with camera happy fingers. This is the capital of the United States of America and we think that we're very important. If you take pictures of the government building, scary security guards will ask you to stop because you look hella sketchy. Just understand that if a building doesn't look like a tourist friendly place (aka it looks like a normal building) I don't care if it says "Department of Puppies" and you love puppies DON'T take the picture. It is the most amusing thing to see tourists getting stopped by every Bob, Joe, and Mary security guard because their stupid self couldn't contain their love of puppies and now they look like a Russian spy.
 

Disclaimer: There is no actual Department of Puppies so don't get too pressed.

And that's my basic list of how to not look like an absolute tourist in DC and I hope it helps some of you to be more suave in this city in the future because lord knows you do NOT want to go on the Mall in the summer or you'll be drowned by the waves of matching t-shirts and tour buses. Gag.

Have a Brettastic day!

(Image credit: http://m.tourism-review.com/washington-dc-welcomed-155-million-tourists-in-2010-news2764)

Autumn Essentials - Fashion Friday #2

(See full image and product links here)

Autumn is my favourite season, but it's understandable that no one ever likes to hear that. Sure, it's great to think about how amazing falling leaves will be but school? Ew. And if the place you live is anywhere like DC, then you understand how awful it when autumn does not really get started until late October at best. We could rename September as "August extended" or something because that's about as useful as it is. Just hot, continued stickiness.

But, when fall finally does roll around, it's absolutely unbelievable. And I'm not one to dis other seasons but fall is by far the best. I will stock up on sweet smelling candles and Halloween candy and cute sweaters and cardigans in the summer just so I'll be all ready for fall. And then, of course, when the cute fall collections come out, I buy more stuff anyway.

You see, I take fall very seriously. And the picture I made up there (courtesy of polyvore) in no way exemplifies my wardrobe or accessories for fall cause, let's be honest, ain't nobody got that big a budget. But none the less, I make do with what I do have and today I would love to share some of my fall essentials with anyone who's listening so maybe we can all talk about how much we love cider and apples and pumpkins and gosh darn it everything fall.

What no of course it doesn't matter that my birthday's in the fall, it doesn't matter at all.

In all seriousness, fashion-wise, I think one of the reasons I like autumn and winter more than spring and summer is not only cute jackets okay mostly cute jackets but the fact that summer and spring are the times for bold colours, fun patterns, the works. So not my style. I mean, I wear grey all year round, for God's sake. Neutral colours are always my fallback and staple and fall is one of the beautiful seasons in which it isn't a total fashion faux pas to go all neutral colours, to break out the greys, blacks, maroons, and navies that have been sitting in your closet, dying for some attention. Cause, come on, pretty much everyone can rock grey. Except for grey jeans. I just don't understand why those exist.
 

Hair
 

Most of the time, during school when I can't be bothered, I will just leave my hair down or put it in a bun or do both in the course of one day. One fantastic thing about the colder months is that you have to worry less about frizzyness (unless that's a year long problem for you, in which case, I'm just sorry) but there are still dangers in the hair area.

 

1. Health

Yeah, those long luscious locks you've been growing out all summer and shampooing once a month or that cute pixie cut you got at the beginning of the summer, yeah, you need to run down to the salon and get a trim ASAP. Even though you probably should get one anyway for the start of school, with a summer filled with swimming in pools and lakes and oceans and little to no hair washing, your hair is probably not only looking a little dank but chances are, you've got split ends and all that wonderful stuff. And if you have a pixie, you might be in that stage where it's growing back but just kind of gross around your shoulders - you want to take care of that. If you haven't done this all summer (because come on, who really has time for it when there's sun to enjoy) then I recommend you have a stylist, a professional take a look at that. That doesn't include your mom rubbing some egg concoction into your scalp or you going to look for new hair products - you want to have healthy hair from the get-go. Especially when you look at big issue number two...

 

2. Dryness

No matter what kind of hair you have, as the air gets cooler, chances are it's going to get dryer as well. This is probably already a good time to change up your hair routine as you probably should be doing somewhat regularly so I recommend as the months get colder, look for shampoo and conditioner that will give you enough moisture without looking greasy. This can vary by brand and depending on your hair type (people with naturally somewhat greasy hair, yeah you might want to ignore this one) but just make sure you recognize that with dry scalps comes dandruff and NOBODY likes that. Cause then you have to buy Head and Shoulders from CVS and look cheap as hell.

 

3. Cute hair accessories

This might be stepping a little too much into the accessories category (hence the name) but I had to include it because it's honestly so important to any fall collection.

• If you look in the above picture you can pick out some cute hairties that look like they have a knot in them and these are the ones I recommend. Yes, they're a little bit more expensive but they are so adorable and they look so trendy that when that girl who NEVER gives you back your hairties asks for one, you can just go "Oh, sorry, haven't got one." Bam, problem solved, and your hairtie just looks like an adorable bracelet. 
• Secondly, I am a firm believer that any school or presentation outfit can be easily spiced up with a little bow and it can be plain, it doesn't have to be fancy. A bow holding your hair back or at the top of your bun can add just a little extra girliness that I often try to do mostly away with in my fall clothes. So a little bow can be the perfect alternative.
• And lastly, this is literally THE MOST IMPORTANT; beanies. Beanies are the most comfortable, the most wonderful hat that has ever been invented. I feel like beanies instantly add a bit of a hipsterish look that can also cover up a bad hair day or just downplay any outfit. Perfect for a dress with Dr. Martens or something like what I have up there, played up jeans with a cute top. I, myself, own three beanies (none of them grey, whaaaaat???) in black, white, and then one that was an impulse thrift store buy that is from Vans and it is striped and very colourful. As I have mentioned many times, I'm not one to go for the bold choices, especially when it's accepted to wear neutral colours but this beanie can always add the cutest pop to any outfit. I recommend a vast beanie collection and I am always building up my own. If anyone knows of a cheap, grey beanie, hook a sister up, I feel a little scandalous to not own one.

Makeup

1. Quick!

So if this fall you are going back to school like me, chances are you're already a pro at finding a quick routine to get ready in the mornings. No one really has the time or patience to spend half an hour in the morning on makeup that they're going to wear to a school full of people they don't like. So, just because colder months means you can break out the full face of foundation doesn't mean you should. I recommend finding a routine that does not involve too many components and doesn't take that much time so you can go for the "look au naturale" but still look fab.

• One product I love is the Maybelline Masterprecise felt-tipped eyeliner by Eyestudio in black. Granted, it is a little hard to apply without a mishap but with practice, this eyeliner is a godsend because it is thin enough to give your eyes that pop without being too obvious and it stays on forever! No need for constant touch ups
• Another staple in any school/fall bag is concealer. I never bother with foundation but in the cold months of fall and winter when it's still dark out when I'm rushing around to get ready, I especially don't bother with it. Swipe on a bit of concealer and you're good to go. (I recommend any concealer by Cover Girl but, I mean, I recommend anything by CG)
• Also , as the sun starts to say goodbye, I recommend investing in a blush with bronzing highlights or a good old fashioned bronzer. Don't go overboard on either but there is nothing wrong with a nice, sunkissed glow. My advice is to find something that has ways for you to get at the different bits and colours so you can apply them collectively or individually to highlight whatever needs highlighting!
• Lastly a necessity of any makeup bag and school bag in the autumn is moisturizer. As mentioned earlier, with colder weather comes drier skin and hair and you always want to make sure your skin is looking good. I like to carry around the Sonia Kashuk "Pink Innocencia" lotion every day because not only can it keep all of me easily moisturized but whenever I am dying of boredom, I can smell it in in all it's magnolia and jasmine goodness and it keeps me busy.

2. Darker nail polish or white
As we all know, fall and winter are the times to break out the dark nail colours, the navys, maroons, silvers, blacks, glitters, etc. Also everyone loves a bit of orange from time to time. I love these trends. However, I would say that if you want to break away from that colour palette a little bit, go with white. White can never let you down and while it is probably best in the summer, I think it works very well with neutral greys in the fall. For example, the outfit in the picture is a perfect example of when it is 100% okay to slap on a bit of white nail polish. But that neon polish you bought in the summer? Maybe save that...

3. Simple lips

As previously talked about, cold = dry. I know you get the picture. So when I set up my autumn look, I always make sure to go for plenty of tinted balms and maybe less lipsticks and the like. As the natural look is generally my goal for school and what not, such balms can make a world of a difference - moisturizing your lips while still giving you some colour and shine. The Sugar line, as shown in the picture is my absolute favourite thing in the entire world because of its softness and texture. However, because of the size I'll usually save this from when my lips are extremely damaged and in need of serious attention. Most of the time I'll go for the Smooches by Cover Girl because they're cheap, easy, and do the work of both a balm and a lip gloss. However, if you want a straight up balm, the Babylips by Maybelline are forever a favourite.

Clothes

1. T-Shirts and Cardigans

Because I practically live in t-shirts all year round, fall is no exception even when it starts to get a little cooler. The magic answer? Cartigans! Cartigans the perfect thing to make your v-neck trendy and ready to be worn out. I recommend having about three staple cartigans, one in maroon or cream (goes with about everything plus your greys), one in grey (goes with literally EVERYTHING except other grey shirts), and one with a pattern or fun color in case you feel like you're being a little too neutral or if you want to spice up any outfit.
 

2. Sweaters
Everyone knows that sweaters are a staple of any of the winter months but I think that autumn is one of the best times to stock up on sweaters. Granted, people are going to look at you weirdly if you break out a jack-o-lantern sweater in January, so I recommend that those cute Halloween-themed sweaters you might find so adorable should be purchased with caution. Sweaters, like most other clothes I like, are an investment and should be bought to last and be reused whenever the weather calls for it. These are perfect for a little extra warmth and also that A+ cute factor on those days you might not just feel like trying too hard.

3. Skinny Jeans
 I know that skinny jeans are a staple for most people during all months but I think that during the fall, slapped together with an oversize sweater or top, skinny jeans are so adorable and look good with pretty much every body type. It's not important to worry about if your legs are too skinny or chunky, just that you feel good. I love jeggings though I know some people think they're tacky, but to me they're just so comfortable and shouldn't be traded in for anything. Leggings to school can be tacky so, um, don't unless you REALLY feel like not caring, but jeggings look more put together but are just as comfortable. Those are always the way to go when you want something comfortable and slightly pajama-like but also very cute and trendy

Accessories

1. Scarves
Scarves at times are hard to rock because you might want to wear your hair down and you think they don't look good like that (news flash: you're right, they don't) or it doesn't match your outfit. But there is NOTHING like a cozy scarf to spice up an outfit and without the weight of a necklace. Scarves can downplay an outfit very well so if you have a nice dress that you think is maybe a little too fancy for everyday wear, dress it down with a scarf and voila! You've got yourself a great school outfit. Scarves can be colorful or not, plain or jazzy but as long as you think it's comfortable and goes vaguely with your outfit, you're all set to go.

2. Oxfords/Flats
Writing this point makes me want to cry because I don't think you understand how long I've been searching for a good pair of Oxfords in my size (big!) and in a colour I want (white!) that are in my price range (cheap!). I searched DSW and no luck and I have perused a lot of sites on the interwebs and have come up with empty hands. But I think that in the fall, with your jeans rolled up at the cuffs or with a skirt or shorts, flats and oxfords can be the best way to spice up or even just complete an outfit on any given day. I also think these are really great spring essentials but even more perfect for that short window in fall before the weather becomes perfect for boots because, let's be real, no one really comes out of boots once they go in.

3. A Bag
A good shoulder bag, I don't think I really need to talk about this one too much. A sturdy but chic backpack or shoulder bag in a nice, muted color of brown, tan, or black just because if you invest in one of those, you can never go wrong or have an outfit that doesn't match. I recommend spacious yet practical, something like the one in the picture where you aren't buying it to fit three binders for school in it, but maybe a book, makeup, and a few other things for a day or night out. A nice, casual bag that's easy to tote around is something that never stops being practical.

4. A Journal
I know this isn't for everyone, but I'd be disloyal to my writing blog if I didn't talk about, y'know, writing. This isn't just a fall essential, but an essential all year round. I say that the best way to go in this situation would be a $3 journal at CVS that is super easy to stick in your bag at any time, no matter how big it is. I run through these like razors, I need a new one all the time! I think that this is a staple of every writer, amateur or professional, and if you don't have one, you're only hurting yourself.

Have a Brettastic day!